Life’s Angels and Life Guards
During my third year of residency I admitted one of my favorite patients. I had been caring for her for the previous three years. She was diagnosed with cancer and had completed her surgery when we first met. She was starting her first round of chemotherapy and it was my job to admit her to the hospital and get her tuned up, so to speak, and ready to start treatment. Over the next three years we became close and it seemed like I was always the one to admit her for chemotherapy or to treat the side effects of the toxic regiment she was receiving. She was a local Librarian and very well read. This gave us a lot to talk about on those long stays in the hospital. She was always up beat and dressed with a smile. She would always state in a matter of fact way, “I am going to beat this Dr Nichols. With your help we will beat this! Do not give up on me!"
This night was different. She was very weak and I could tell she was not doing well. When all the paper work was done, she asked to make one change. That was to her Code status. She had given up the fight and asked to be a “No Code”. I tried to talk her out of it. Despite my best arguments she would not have it any other way. She then asked to talk to me alone without the medical student or the junior resident.
When everyone had left the room she preceded to explain to me how I had been her Guardian Angel throughout this ordeal looking after her, making sure all her needs were met, and that she had the best care possible. She thanked me and wanted me to know she had come to the hospital that night to die in peace. She was crystal clear I was to follow her wishes regarding her “No Code” status. She then went on to tell me that the wish she is going to make at the gates of heaven was to come back to earth and be my personal angel. She wanted to repay me for all that I had done for her. She said she is going to sit on my shoulder and look out for me and protect me from harm. We talked for a few more minutes; I gave her a hug and went on with the duties of being on call.
At about 2 A.M.; I got a call from the charge nurse to come to my patient’s room. When I arrived she had passed on and I had to pronounce her dead. What a night.
Since then I have come to appreciate that we are not going through this life alone and we all share a responsibility to look after one another. Either in the capacity as Angel or in what I like to call Life Guards.
This past Fall my life was upside down. I had crashed and burned. I was in a tough place. Many of my very close friends and family members were going through some very ugly circumstances and I had a patient die. Deaun, my wife, was at the end of her rope with me and knew I needed help.
She spoke with a very good friend of ours to come and get my butt back into the game. To this day I do not think he knows why he was called. He showed up very positive and full of life! His life is just as out of control as mine. He rarely has the extra time to drop everything, but this day he did. I gave all the subtle excuses why I could not mountain bike that day. The bike needed this and that fixed. I had gained 10 pounds since our last ride and no way could I keep up with him. He kept pressing and fixing my bike as we talked, telling me the whole time it would be ok. Just a ride for fun! Before I knew it the bike was fixed and we were on our way! This was one of the best rides to date!
JJ, you saved my life that day in more ways than one. I know now we all need to stay in tune with that inner voice when it calls. Just like in Magnum PI. Listen to IT! Do not ignore the prompting to help a fellow traveler. You never know when you are being called upon to be that life saver for someone.
Whether you are an Angel or a Life Guard, the small things you do for others do not go unnoticed. Strive to be an Eagle soaring above and willing to serve and go the extra mile. Do not be a Duck and sit around quacking about how bad things are.
Thank You JJ!

"I Belive In me"

A few days ago I was on the spinning bike working up to start Insanity (a new conditioning program) when out of the the IPOD came a an old KISS tune "I". It was on the the album "The Elder". The chorus is "I believe in me!". It got me thinking; do I believe in me? If so, what are a few times in my life that I really had to dig deep and search my sole to really believe in me?

The first thing that come to mind was my sophomore year in high school. I wanted to play football. My dreams of being a star running back took a major seat back after hitting drills during "Hell Week". We were doing this drill that required me to carry the ball and an line backer to run up and make a hit and try to tackle me. I ran this kid over and kept on going until the coach started to yell at me to come back. As I returned to the group this kid was not getting up. I over heard the coaches talking that was one of the hardest hit yet at camp. The coach after attending to the young man approached me to informed me that I would not be running the ball this year but playing right gard. RIGHT GARD! Did he not just see that hit?! At 130 pounds dripping wet how was I ever going to hold my own on the the line with the big boys. The coach gave me his word if I did this for him this year, next year I could move to the back field.

I gave it everything I had. I became the best right gard I could. Learning the plays and how to block. The next off season I worked hard hitting the weights gaining 30 pounds. By my senior year I had earned a starting position in the rotation as full back (because I knew how block as good as I could run the ball), I was starting middle line backer and one of three team captions! Yes, I believed in me!



During my days at Dixie College I was a good student with the exception of my first quarter. That first quarter pulled my GPA down. Despite doing very well otherwise, when I hit the University of Utah and told the councilor I was going to medical school she had a true detrol ( a drug used to treat urinary incontance) moment! She nearly wet her pants laughing so hard. You?! Get into medical school you have a Good GPA but that first quarter you did less than poor! I pointed I had a very competitive marks otherwise.


So I went to work! Pulling A's throughout my premed work and psychology degree at the the U of U. Not only did I get in to medical school but went on to graduate from medical school in the top 5% of my class! Yes I believe in me!



There will be times in all our lives when the only person pulling for you is your self. Never ever give in! Never ever give UP! Most importantly, keep showing up and giving 110% to everything you do. Keep a positive mental picture in the direction you wan to go and DO NOT stop believing in yourself! I believe in me and I believe in you! The human spirit with God's help can overcome and achieve anything!



I am now embarking on project 218 and 1/2! More to come! stay tuned!

Aloha! Stand up and say it real loud ALOHA! Does that not feel really good! Did you ever wounder why the Hawaiian people used one word for hello and good by? I have always pondered this. I used to think it was because they are considered by the Western world to be a primitive culture. I beg to differ. What if they really get it? Aloha, the meaning of life! Why we are here on the planet earth. Think about this. If you understand that life is circular and what goes around comes around. Then why not have one word for hello and good by. You are never really saying either. Eventually you will see one another again. It may not be in this life but we will see one another again. So the logic works (if you belive in God,  Heaven and we all come from and return to source).

So lets take this one step further. The Aloha Spirit. What is it? If you have ever spent time in the Hawaiian Island you quickly come to understand the Aloha Spirit is the spirit of unconditional love. You must first love yourself unconditionally then you can began to love others unconditonally. Understanding the Aloha spirit means you understand you are a piece of God just like everyone and every living creature on this planet. Therefor to love your self unconditionally you must then love everyone else the same way because we all come from the same source! We are all one in the same! It is the same energy beating al our hearts! The Aloha Spirit in action, unconditional love!

So say ALOHA! Keeping in mind we all are from the same source, one great Love on the same adventure back to the source we call God! So fill your heart with the Aloha Spirit and love your self and love one another! ALOHA my Friends!